Many of us then allow ourselves then to be drawn into a discussion of how cyclists need to shape up, how there should be more done to gain cyclists' compliance with traffic laws, and how education of cyclists about safe cycling is essential. (This latter "solution" is often accompanied by the observation that the roads will be much safer when all the elementary school students who are receiving bicycle safety education get behind the wheel of their motor vehicles.) Each of these would be helpful, but let's remind ourselves that there is no viable path to achieving full compliance with all traffic laws by all cyclists, just as there is no viable path to achieving full compliance by all motorists. And, even if there were, occasionally somebody would take umbrage at the behavior, legal or not, of somebody else.
While we live in a world in which most people are considerate and thoughtful, there will always be a few reckless idiots among us. Some of them will be on bicycles and some of them will be behind the wheels of motor vehicles. Couple that with the fact that each of us (regardless of mode choice) periodically makes dumb mistakes and the unfortunate reality is that not every other road user who we encounter is going to do exactly as we wish they would all the time. No amount of bicycle safety education is going to change that. No level of police presence is going to change that--though it would be nice if the police would at least make a head fake at enforcing the safe passing distance laws.
Why don't bicyclists obey traffic laws like everybody else? They do--just like everybody else and they undoubtedly will continue to do so. In a typical year, 40,000 Oregonians are convicted of driving while suspended or revoked and 25,000 for driving while impaired (generally drunk). Studies have shown that 70 percent of motorists periodically exceed the speed limit and 85 percent roll stop signs. We all know from experience (frequently from behind a steering wheel) that a violation of a traffic law rarely results in a citation. As is the case with violations committed by motorists, bicyclists are and will rarely be cited for their transgressions.
In 2011, Oregon had 331 road fatalities. Fifteen bicyclists died, five as a result of motorist error. (Given law enforcements predisposition to absolving the driver, the number of cases in which driver error caused the crash may be higher.) It has happened, but as a rule, bicyclists don't kill other road users. Bicyclists are not creating the unsafe conditions that we have on our roads.
Don't apologize. Instead, offer a deal with the individual to whom you are speaking by agreeing not to expect them to apologize for the actions of every other motorist if they will agree not to expect you to apologize for the actions of every other bicyclist. Remind them that each driver and cyclist is an individual, and it's the individual, not the mode that decides behavior.